Whenever there’s a new baby in the family, everybody wants a turn getting to hold and play with them. People revel in spoiling this new little human with all the love it can receive but- without the responsibilities that come along with it.
Regardless, everyone wants a turn with the new baby and, sometimes, family members take the little without asking.Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels Source: Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels
Allow me to explain…
One sister, Heather Delaney, posted a photo on her social media with a caption saying that sometimes she takes her sister’s newborn without asking, and at first it takes you aback for a moment. She writes,
“I don’t wait for my sister to ask before I take her baby. Oops. That kinda sounds like kidnapping. Allow me to explain.”
For the next hour or so Heather takes on all the responsibilities of caring for her nephew- but she’s doing more than that.
As she goes into her explanation she speaks about the time she gets to spend at her sister’s house, holding her precious nephew.
When she arrives she tells her she’s taking him to the bedroom and turning on her favorite show and that he is her’s for the next hour or two. But the reason she does this runs a little deeper than first expected.
Not only is she taking care of her nephew, but her sister at the same time.
Within that hour or two she’ll change his diapers when needed, she’ll change his clothes if they are soaked in drool, feed him his bottle if he’s hungry, and really anything else he needs within their time together.
She isn’t just there to steal him for that precious baby time, taking care of him as her own- she does this to give her sister an hour or two to do whatever she pleases.Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels Source: Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels
She is giving her sister some time to breathe and do as she pleases for a moment.
For this hour or two, her sister can eat, vacuum, shower, nap, catch up on her favorite Netflix show…whatever she wants to do with no responsibilities. Heather writes,
“However she chooses to spend that time, it’s completely up to her. It’s HER time. I don’t question it; I certainly don’t judge it. Only she knows what her body and her heart need during that time – And I want her to honour just that. Me, her, and him? We all come out of that hour (or two) feeling incredible. It’s a beautiful pause from the world for all three of us. “
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She believes if she asked her sister for permission every time, it wouldn’t happen it the way it’s needed.
She continues to write that if she waited to ask her sister for permission to take her baby and all the responsibilities for an hour, it wouldn’t happen. Feelings of guilt, shame, and the thought of “I should be able to do it all” would come flooding forward. As well as, even if her sister realized she may need this time she would probably never ask.
She continues to write about how a lot of mothers wait to be burnt out in order to realize maybe they need help or to take a moment to themselves,
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite from Pexels Source: Photo by Kristina Paukshtite from Pexels
“She (like all other mothers, myself included) would instead wait for the burnout to set in (as oddly enough that feels more natural to current-day motherhood than asking for help does). Friends – We need to stop that narrative. We all see it. The memes and articles about motherhood burnout. We know it’s happening. We’re told the ways that we can help a mother once she gets tired, and once she is overwhelmed. But what about if we didn’t wait for them to get burnt out? What about if we stepped in and helped the mothers before the exhaustion set in? ”
She is giving back to her sister something that was taught to her when she was raising her three babies.
Heather continues that she is a mother of three, who are no longer babies, but she understands this struggle from when they were little. But she had someone helping her just as she is doing for her sister. That person was her mother-in-law.
Every Friday evening, her mother-in-law wouldn’t ask to take her kids or wait to the point of exhaustion. She would come and pick up the three kids and enjoy spending time with them. While their mother was able to enjoy the time she had to relax and do as she pleases without them being there. This was something that kept her going. She writes,
“No matter how hard my week was. No matter how busy they got and how tired I got, I knew I had Friday evening to look forward to…And what a blessing it was. Out of all the beautiful gifts my mother-in-law has given me through the years, nothing has ever compared to the gift of Friday nights. The best. Hands down.”
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It truly does take a village.
So now she does the same thing for her sister. No waiting for her to ask for help, to burn out, overwhelmed, or watch her get to the point of exhaustion. She simply goes over to her sister’s house and relieves her sisters of her duties for an hour or two and gets to spend some great bonding time with her little nephew. A win-win for all and a great lesson to all who read her words.Love Always, Heather via Facebook Source: Love Always, Heather via Facebook
For more of Heather’s post check out her Instagram and Facebook below.
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